seek Me whole heartedly


it's been a tough couple of weeks. this Arabic program I'm in is no joke and it's much more difficult than I had previously anticipated. I haven't had much time to blog or do anything other than homework honestly. it's not fun. I've had more than my fair share of freakouts. the first session did not go well for me, at all. I got my first F. not the joking type of F I talk about when I get a B when I thought I would get an A- I got an F. not just one but two. it's a really hard realization when you finally see that something might be too hard for you. it's even harder when you realize that praying for wisdom and help on a test won't do anything if you aren't seeking God whole heartedly.

this summer has been so tough that I forgot why I'm here. I forgot why I have the ability to be here. I forgot that God isn't someone you text at the last minute when you need something. God should be my everything. my every day, my every moment. maybe…

good, good Father

today I am SO grateful that I serve a good, good Father! oh, my heart is so full from what He has done. this past Sunday, I decided that I would go church hopping for the short time I will be in Enid and I landed at Sojourn Church. I knew about Sojourn because one of my former teachers [shout out to Jay Mendenhall and Sophomore Bible!] talked a lot about it when I was at OBA. first, I felt at home the moment I walked into the building! everyone was so friendly and talkative and the service even started later than I had expected because everyone was just fellowshipping so hard. the sermon was on Genesis 22. we talked about the background of Abraham and Sarah and how Ishmael and Isaac came to be. we talked a lot about faith. Abraham and Sarah didn't have faith in God and that is how Ishmael came to be. when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac,  it was the ultimate test of faith and Abraham passed. I was so moved that the entire sermon was based on this one passage. most of the churc…

what GRACE ! !

Scars and struggles on the way But with joy our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Carried by Your constant grace Held within Your perfect peace Never once, no, we never walk alone Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful

boy, God is ~~so good~~.
I accidentally woke up more than two hours early on this beautiful Sunday morning and I'm so grateful because I had some time to just sit back and bask in grace for a little bit. as I got to thinking I remembered a song [seen above] that's been stuck in my head for a few weeks. in fact, when I first heard this song I was at a church I had never been to before. it was a Sunday and I had been studying all day and I was incredibly stressed out. I remembered that this Antioch had a 5:30 pm service so I left the library and went, really just as a study break but ~man~ and I glad I did.
 how wonderful is our God to take the time to remind me that no matter how stress…

s u m m e r

there were long nights
there were tears
there were [many] study breaks
and now it's finally here
it's S U M M E R
I'm now a week into summer and if you're in contact with me you've heard me complain about how absolutely and painfully bored I am BUT I'm grateful to be resting up for what's to come! I plan to spend the next ten days with my best friend, Carson, because after that I'll be travelling all the way to Austin, Texas for the rest of the summer. I'll be taking a summer Arabic intensive at the University of Texas [horns down]. Don't get me wrong, it's going to be rough but I'm so excited to spend the summer in this city! I've never been so far south (sad I know) but I hear lots of fun things about Austin. Usually, I say that the only thing I don't hate about Texas is the great culmination of capitalism that is Buccee's Gas Station but I hope to add Austin to that statement. So, if you have any fun suggestions for what …

count it all joy

count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness
james 1: 2-3

so many incredible, beautiful things have happened to me this year. delta gamma. student congress. ways and means committee chair. crimson club. arabic flagship program. mock trial. friends of a lifetime. 
I remind myself to be grateful for each of these things while not calling them blessings because God doesn't bless us with material things or things that will help us get into a good law school or frivolous things. No, God blesses us with faith and grace and steadfast love and it's sometimes difficult to remember that. 
for all of the wonderful things that I have encountered, just as many bad things have happened. sometimes, college can be frustrating and lonely and it's so easy to forget that no person's opinion of me matters more than the Father's. james 1:2-3 reminds me that each thing that happens, good, bad, or see…
I had the amazing opportunity to be the president of the Foreign Film Club this semester. This is a club that I started with several of my friends that gets together once a month and watches a movie from another culture and language. It's really awesome because afterward we get the opportunity to talk about what we learned from it, things that surprised us, things we could identify with. My favorite movie that we watched this semester was The Kite Runner. This is the story of an Afghani boy who is best friends with the son of his house servant. They grow apart due to a series of events but later reunite if only in spirit. The story occurs at the time when the Taliban is taking over Afghanistan. We saw the way the culture of Kabul changed over time and discussed and compared the visual with things we've learned in school. I really love the foreign film club and the opportunities for discussion and bonding that it offers for its members!
This semester HASA, the Hispanic American Student Association, got together and put on some super cool events for OU. First I want to say that I am so impressed with this amazing group of students and what they've done this year. They're the biggest multicultural group on campus and they just do so much for the OU community. One of the events I got to attend was a lunch in the Oklahoma Memorial Union. There was food served from several different Latin American countries and it was really quite an experience. There was music and dancing and lots of yummy food. It was such an amazing experience to get the opportunity to be a part of this lunch and be exposed to a culture that I'm not normally exposed to. The fact that this incredible group of students put all of this together is just amazing to me!

a short list of things I am grateful for

I am so happy. I couldn't pinpoint why or when this happened but over break I've realized that I am so, so happy. I am blessed beyond belief and so grateful that even though I deserve nothing, God sees me and wants so much more for me. And so, here is a short list of things I am grateful for.

My mom, and also all of the cats and dogs that she takes care of while I am away at...

College. The place where I have met so many incredible people, including but not limited to:

and Austin

I'm also grateful for the old friends who I know love me so much more than I deserve:

and Ivey

Speaking of Ivey, we had coffee just the other morning and in talking about Arabic, law school, and studying abroad, she reminded me to be so grateful that I have hope and a future.

Those last two, they're probably the most important. Hope. Future. I am so incredibly excited for everything that is to come…

That's a Wrap

I've spent most of the semester missing my best friend. In fact, I've missed her so much that I can't shut up about her. She's the stars to my moon, the words to my pages, and the key to my heart. We are so much the same person that sometimes I can't stand it. Not in the "I'm tired of this" kind of way but more in a way in which I am so overwhelmed with love and acceptance in her presence that my legs grow weak and I physically can't stand. She will be my maid of honor one day, the godmother to each of my children.
My poor new friends know more about Carson than they've ever wanted to. For some reason, they always listen to me drone on and on about this person that they've never met. They never stop me, they never complain when I tell the same story for the fifteenth time, and they never, ever, tell me that they don't care. Because for some reason, I think they do. 
These people are growing on me. I knew I liked them but, now, I think …

International Prom

Well, International Prom was an experience, alright. It was crazy, the international kids sure do know how to party. There was dancing, to all kinds of music, not just American pop. There was French music, Spanish music, and I think even some sort of African music. Everyone was dancing and giving it their all, regardless of what type of music was playing and wether their culture matched the music. Everyone danced with everyone else, we didn't hind in groups of our own nationalities, we got together with each other and met new people. There were several times during the dance that, somehow, many people would accidentally form a circle and dance with each other together. I like to think that I started the dance that we were doing. We put our hands side by side and did this pulse thing to the top right, then to the bottom left, then to the top left, then to the bottom right and repeated the cycle. We stood together in a huge circle, doing then dance for ten to twenty minutes at a tim…